24.3.17
A TALE ON ONE KNEE
Or how positive thinking really does work
So many of us believe in the power of positive thinking, but when the going gets tough it can be difficult to remember to keep all thoughts facing into the light.
After a rather stressful week, where I had become quite insular and contained, largely due to the fact that it appeared if I put myself out into the world, someone did something hurtful.
Suddenly hearing I may lose my regular shifts at work. Receiving 60 days notice to quit my apartment even though I had been assured that would not be the case. Even feeling forgotten as Gerry battled tiredness and almost had to work on the evening after my surgery. This all pushed me to remember the power of positive thinking and that in order to create a positive experience for my knee surgery, I needed to put some positive effort into it. I had torn the meniscus and the kneecap was being pushed over, creating constant pain in my left knee.
So I fired up my Reiki Grid and focused symbols and energy into my healing, I let go of the feelings of negativity around the events of the week and I began my silent self-talk, meditation and prayer around my upcoming (first ever) surgical experience at the age of 59!
I did not feel too nervous and as I had no health care plan to cover surgery, I was in a fortunate enough financial position to be able to go private at John Flynn Hospital. After nearly 8 months of incapacity and pain, I was not into waiting up to another 6 months to even get an appointment with a surgeon. Check-in flowed well, I was interviewed and in my gown, hat and shoes in minutes.
I was taken to pre-op, where I was draped in a beautifully warm blanket and the lovely anaesthetist nurse shared with me what a great team were working with me for the procedure. How could she have known that my prayers had included the request for a positive and happy team to operate on me? In pre-op I checked in with my body, and focussed on slowing my breath, which calmed the little well of nervousness in my stomach. I lay there quite calmly, aware of my body, feeling the pain in my knee and knowing the healing was already happening. The anaesthetist was amusing and genuinely pleased to see her nurse. She even joked that the surgeon would need to bring a note from home as he was 3 minutes late! She alluded to the effects of champagne as I lost all recognition of what was happening. When I awoke I had a young nurse giving me 100% attention and my first sensation was pain, which she seemed to alleviate in about 10 seconds. Apart from leaving me and fetching me the most delicious lemonade icy pole I have ever enjoyed slurping on, she stayed with me constantly while I lay on cloud 9 and drilled her with silly questions! Then the anaesthetist appeared, asked how I was and gave my arm a friendly squeeze.
Tremors
I was wondering if I had shaken at all in the whole process and realised I would never know. Then as I was assisted from the bed into the wheelchair and sat down, my lips started to tremor, then my teeth chattered, then a tremor came through my neck and shoulders and seemed to be swallowed up within my body. It only lasted a few seconds but it was a shake, a release of any stress or tension that may have arisen from the procedure. I was thrilled!
Sitting having my sandwich and cup of tea, which arrived no sooner had I been settled into the recliner, I was told by an Irish nurse that Gerry had been waiting ages for me and she would get me ready to leave. I told her how caring he was and that I knew he would not have been far away. She said, never having met me before, with all the conviction that an Irish women can muster, “And you really, really deserve it!” I felt my heart surge as she really meant it and she did not even know me.
On the first night home, I had a wakeful night. I was at some stage aware of my right hand shaking involuntarily, my head shaking gently from side to side and a little shake happening through my relaxed legs. I was also aware of a small sound that came out of my mouth quite regularly – not a cry of pain more a gentle release of emotion. When I tried to assume the position to shake with my knees up and feet flat, the swelling and soreness did not permit any movement.
The next day my lovely friend Helen visited and said she had prayed for me that the op would be successful and that I would be cared for and nurtured by the staff. So her prayers were answered for me.
Resting, exercising, waited on by my loving partner, Gerry. All my needs being met with patience and love, I wonder at the power of positive thinking. Am I finally realising my self-worth and loving myself enough to attract this love and support and positive energy into my life consistently? Where earlier in the week, I was trying to cope with the pain and immobility, the events that transpired left me feeling hurt and wondering why people so easily tell lies and trample on others’ feelings. I have used those challenges to turn it all around and create a feeling of love and gratitude within myself, which I then see mirrored all around me. As I recuperate, I have time to sit with these feelings and they will grow and expand into the next wave of promising opportunities.
I am healing inside and out!
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